Lasik Eye Check Up

I went for an eye check up at Optimax on Tuesday to test for the suitability of my eye for the conventional lasik. And had my eyes probed, photographed, blown, and anaestised so that the doctor could measure my corneal thickness with a metal probe and eye pressure. And my pupils were dilated, which had the side effect of having presbytoria, or 'san kuang'. Which irritated the hell out of me, as I could not read properly and normal sun light hurt my eyes. Now I understand the feeling of hopelessness old folks feel when they start losing their sight to presbytoria.

In the end, I was told to go for LASEK instead of LASIK, as my eyesight was really bad, a result from watching too much porn reading too much during my younger days. Probably will make a trip to Tan Tock Seng hospital, where they have much more advanced lasers that will cut less corneal tissues compared to the Nidek lasers at Optimax.

When the tremors were felt in Singapore, my younger brother's bed shook. He quickly got out of the room, his face white, shouting that his bed shook. He thought that there was a ghost in the room. Until I told him that my bed shook too, and it was probably a slight earthquake somewhere else. I was so tired out from the day's activities that I decided to just stay put and slept like a log.

Busy Busy Busy Bee...

It has been a hectic and busy week. Right after my resignation letters, there were a flurry of projects and support calls, and more incompetent/dumb/stupid people to face and support. This time, it's another IT Indian foreign talent with a Singaporean Chinese that pissed me off. Typical stingy mentality of asking for help, without wanting to pay. Sighs.

On the third day after I threw in my letter of resignation, company offered to up my salary between 70% to 100%. Which is quite a lot. But to me, it was a slap in the face. What it basically meant to me was; Hey, I know I have been underpaying you for the last 4 years, and I know you are getting a fresh grad pay, but stay with me and I will pay you your market rate. Part of me was tempted to stay, but I was tired, and I gave myself a deadline to pursue an MBA by next year. Judging by the amount of responsibilities I hold; had I stayed on, I will never be able to even complete my application form and take the GMAT.

On a brighter note, though, a good friend dropped by my class last Saturday. He was back in Singapore after a 9 month pilot training stint in convict land Australia. It was meant to be a surprise, but Mr. Million Theory man accidentally let the pussy cat out of the bag.

Million Theory man: Hey, later on in your salsa class, you will have a surprise.
Me: What surprise? You mean there will be some cheo bu attending my class?
Million Theory man: No, but it will be a surprise. And after class, no matter what, you must keep it free.
Me: Hmm....Ixxx is back already?
Million Theory man: How'd you know? Wah, ur fast man. You just spoilt your own surprise.

So after class, it was beers, dinner, beers, chill out at SouthBridge, beers, and catching up. And lame jokes about pilots, cockpits, stewardesses, and mile high clubs. And of course the meaning of an Australian kiss. For the uninitiated, it is a French Kiss, but only Down Under. It was a good night of old friends meeting up, a perfect night to cap off an otherwise stressful week.

Operation Mum's Birthday Surprise

Mum was too busy working in the resident's committee to celebrate her birthday with her two sons at night. On the pretext of helping the committe install a spam control software, I got her good friend who was also in the resident's committee and planned a surprise birthday party for her.

10 am: Messaged her good friend to plan the birthday surprise. Friend called the whole zoo of friends down to the RC.

10:30 am: She replied asking for time to meet.

1pm: Bought a banana chocolate cake from Secret Recipe.

3pm: Mum called, asking me if I will be back for dinner. Told her that I will be out drinking with friends.

7pm: Collected the banana chocolate cake.

9.00pm: The rest of the RC members was at the resident committee's corner.

9.40pm: Snuck into the committee whilst the rest distracted mum.

10pm: Lit birthday cake, RC friends got mum to go into the 'karaoke room' in the RC corner.

10:05pm: Surprise! Happy Birthday mum!

10:15pm: Makan time! Her friends cooked some noodles, and bought spring rolls and BBQ chicken wings. They managed to dig out a cheap bottle of wine to celebrate the occasion too.

Well seeing her delighted and happy expression was worth the effort planning and lugging the 2.4 kg cake home. Especially since no one knew that her birthday was today. And as far as I can remember, no one gave her a surprise birthday party before.


Wished I could have thrown a grander surprise party, or afford to get her the diamond pendant/ring that she wanted. Sighs ... when you are poor as a church mouse, gotta make do with what you have.

Resignation

After 4 years of toiling and slaving in my job, I have finally handed in my letter of resignation. It was more of a relief, a lifting of responsibility as my manager accepted the letter, without trying to keep me in the company, as he knew that I had wanted to resign long ago.

I'd thought my mood would be that of a happy and gleeful one, but as I handed in the letter, it was more of a nolstagic feeling. Of having cut my teeth into the dynamic and fast paced IT world. And now leaving my training ground behind. Of relief, of having to make the change. Of not supporting difficult clients anymore. Tired and battle worn from the daily grinding IT tasks. They did want to counter offer me, but I guess when it's time to change a job, it is not only the pay, but the change of environment. 4 years has been the longest time that I stayed in the same place. It's time to move on.

California Fitness

A friend gave me two free one week passes to California Fitness, and out of curiosity, I had decided to go visit babe haven the gym with Mr Million Theory man.

After giving us a standard 45 mins 'prep' standard talk about fitness goals, exercise, health....blah ..blah... blah...we were finally allowed to use the gym. We also took this test on a machine to measure our muscle mass, bone density, fat content..blah ..blah blah. And guess what, not only am I overweight, I am overfat!

There is a lot of babes in California Fitness. Skimpily dressed, sexy, hot bod babes. How anyone can concentrate on working out, is beyond my comprehension. The only workout that you can do there, would be the running stations. Just ogle at the girl's butt in front watch the TV as distraction while running, and before you know it, an hour is up.

On the 2nd floor, there is a whole myriad of gym equipment. Mind boggling variety of equipment for different parts of the body. The guys dominated the machines working out the abs, arms, and shoulders, whilst the girls straddled the machines working out the boobs chest, thighs and butts.

There was a yoga class going on, and there was this particularly cute girl in the class. Being a blur sotong, I did not notice her...until I noticed half the guys in the gym staring through the glass door, into her ass. At that time, she was doing this funny yoga position, where the butt sticks up in the air. Heh. Now I know why California Fitness is doing so well.

The third floor had a body combat class going on. Interesting...high impact exercise. They also had all these free weights section, where most of the hunkier, brawnier guys go to. Ironically, instead of feeling all macho, and ready to work out, I felt sissyfied. There is something fishy with all that amount of tostesterone there. Until I realised that half of them were gays. Good looking, lean mean fucking machine that would pull in the chicks........with dicks.

So I had a good workout there (especially my eyes). And another prep talk from the personal trainers after the workout. I saw this fat personal trainer, trying to sell the gym membership, and nearly burst out laughing at the irony of the situation.

After the two hour gym workout, we decided to meet KFC for dinner at East Coast Park hawker center....and wasted my two hours of gym session on sambal stingray, sotong, satay, fried oysters and chicken wings. Topped up with sugar cane juice. Yum. Words can't describe the food there, so I leave you with the pictures of the food that I took.

Satay

Sambal Stingray

Tired

I am tired,
Of working long hours,
Of facing incompetent people,
Of drawing a miserable pay.

I am tired,
Of caring for an ungrateful brother,
Of looking out for his future,
When he clearly does not bother.

I am tired,
Of being the pillar of strength for my family,
Of being the one that never falters,
Of having to worry about my mother's health.

I am jaded,
Of living the hectic life,
Of being responsible for my family,
Of the sacrifices that I make for them.

Forgive me,
For wanting to break free,
To rid the chains that tie me down,
That is slowly choking me to death.

Forgive me,
For wanting to chase my dreams,
Of travelling round the world,
And experiencing different cultures.

Eye for a guy in real life.

I was watching Eye for a Guy (Singapore's version of bachelorette) today whilst taking a bus to work; and I suddenly realized why I enjoyed meeting her and all her guy friends so much. It's like watching the Eye for a Guy in real life, except that her admirers has more substance in between their ears, unlike the pussyfied Eye for a Guy contestants. I am still speculating if she is doing this on purpose or unknowingly. Knowing her blur nature, I suspect the latter. In any case, she has such a wicked sense of humour, herding them together in an outing. =).

Oh, and by the way, you should check Channel's 5 description of the contestants.

Eye For A Guy is about 10 single, attractive guys who are charming, intelligent, and confident enough to believe they have what it takes to get the girl.

I didn't know Channel 5 has such a sarcastic sense of humour.

In conversation with Cheeky Chops along Arab Street

On the topic of naming kids.

Cheeky Chops: Can't be just any Tom, Dick and Harry.
Me: Hur? Tom's dick is hairy? Who is Tom? And how do you know it's hairy?
Cheeky Chops: Hahahahaa...

I swear I am getting deaf...I keep hearing the wrong things.

On the topic of life's little session.

Me: As I was saying, I learned a very important lesson last week. Never pick clear your nose in a public toilet. The resulting heightened orafactory senses could just hit you like a ton of brick. Especially the stench of poo. And if you really need to clear your nose, go to a hotel toilet. And check if no one is pooing.
Cheeky Chops: LOL...you know what? You should blog this.

On the topic of a girl's attractiveness

Cheeky Chops: A girl who is seen as trying too hard to attract guys or being desperate is a turn off.
Me: Well... it has something to do with their physical attributes too. If they're short/fat/ugly, guys would not want to chase their skirts. As a result, they get more desperate and try harder to attract guys; or hanker for them. On the other hand, pretty/beautiful people attract guys, so they would be bored of them. Being the centre of attraction could also boost the girls ego and self confidence.
Cheeky Chops: Then if they're fat, there is no excuse. They can always go for a swim and go to the gym.

Ah...enlightenment. Gurls...if ur fat n ugly, go to a gym...at least on the streets you will look good from far, but far from good. It's better than looking fat from far, and far from fit.

On the topic of customer service.

Me: Yeah, this Ambrosia place has very nice ambience and friendly staff.
Cheeky Chops: Agreed. Even if their sheesha is $6 more expensive than the one next to Al Majlis, I would come here because of the customer service. Customer service is important.

On the topic of a girls body parts.

Cheeky Chops: So, are you a boobs person? From your blog, it seems like ur a boob person.
Me: The first thing that attracts me to a girl are her eyes.
Cheeky Chops: No, really.
Me: Really. It's the eyes.
Cheeky Chops: I mean body parts, excluding the face.
Me: Hmmmmm.....
Cheeky Chops waits for a few mins.
Me: I think I'm a legs person.
Cheeky Chops: Really? Not boobs?
Me: Yeah, if you notice, I do have medium size hands. Anything more than medium is a waste.

Of course I'm a legs person. Gotta take care of my little brother. Can't for the life of me imagine humping a girl with thunder thighs. Wait later get abrasion on my little brother, how?

Ali's Mum for desserts

I have a high tolerance level for bad service, but the extremely bad service for the sheesha shop next to Al Majlis takes the cake.

At 10:45 pm: We reached Kaki 5 at Arab St. Ordered Apricot Apple Sheesha from the sheesha shop (nb: NOT Kaki 5. Kaki 5 does not sell sheesha but sells really good lychee tempation). Boss told me that it will take a long time. Ordered a lychee temptation and had a chat with friend.

At 11.45 pm: Went to check on the sheesha. Was told to check with the guy who prepared sheesha. Checked with the guy. Without even turning to look at the paper, he said an hour. "But we have already placed our order an hour ago....", I said. Here comes the clincher:

"If you can't wait then you can go off"

And he said this in full view of his boss, who was happily relak one corner smoking sheesha away, and did not seem bothered by the situation.

I was incensed. I wanted to kick up a big fuss when I realised that futility of the situation; if the mat guy is dumb enough to say this to a regular customer in full view of the boss, he is probably too dumb to know what customer service is, much less spell the word. I thought only sheesha smoking spoils the lungs. Clearly, it destroys brain cells too. Probably explains why they are working there, nothing else to destroy; no harm done.

Now I know how those stereotypical jokes about stupidity came about. It takes only a few black sheep to tar the entire flock, pun not intended.

On a brighter note though, we decided that we should take our business elsewhere, and ended up at Ambrosia, whose service was MUCH better than the shop. Service was prompt, and they had ambience. Nice chairs and carpets, with arabic music flowing through. It was like heaven and earth. Mercedes Benz and Proton Saga.

I had peach infused tea, and she had camomile tea. Sheesha came in about 20 minutes, along with prompt charcoal refills and service with a smile. In fact, it was so cosy that we chatted late to almost 3 am without realising it.

Sheesha with tea

The waiter, Fuhsal, introduced an arabic dessert to us. Um Ali. Its like bread pudding with raisins. Loosely translated, it means Ali's Mum. Great. So I had Ali's Mum with raisins for desserts. And it satisfied my sweet tongue tooth.

Um_Ali

Gothman Penthouse

So, are you interested in going to Gothman Penthouse? Heard it's quite hot. There's ang moh poledancers and tanks with jelly fish

Hmmm... interesting ... jellyfish?

Fug the jellyfish. We're going there for the poledancers.

Been to strip clubs in England before until sian.

It's also for the new clubbing environment. Must try new clubs, everytime we club on the same old Newsroom Bar or Madam Wong's.

What time are you gonna be there?

11pm

So there I was, in front of the club, more interested in seeing the decor that has jellyfish in fish tanks rather than a club with poledancers.

Ok, not only seeing the jellyfish. With a club that has the name Playboy Penthouse on it, it's definitely worth a look. Especially when he said that there's ang moh poledancers. In Singapore.

Entrance to club was through a lift to the third floor. I had an inkling on the type of clientele there when I was stuck in the lift with 4 other tall blocky caucasian girls, who were communicating in a series of grunts. Must be Germans.

Entrance to the club was $12, and the beers were like half pint beers. It was almost like a ghost town.

There were a handful of ang moh teenagers grooving on the dance floor to hip hop music. Yes, they had groove, unlike the normal Singaporean guys/gals that just bop up and down in the dance floor. There were a couple of cute girls.

It suddenly hit me that the ang moh girls look their best during their teenage years. After 21, they just grow fat and ugly go downhill from there. No wonder England has so many paedophiles.

Decor reminded me of the now defunct Centro. Even the toilets. I guess they must have had a good bargain buying the decor 2nd hand from Centro. Times are bad.

At around 11.45pm, the dancers came on to the stage. two of them; but they were not ang mohs. And not pole dancers either. Only skimpily dressed girls dancing and gyrating away. 10 minutes of ogling and I was bored. Friends could not groove to appreciate the hip hop music; one of them had to work the next day, and Tripleperiod, who conned enticed me there wanted to leave too. So that left me in the club, and being bored out of my wits...and had decided to follow suit.

It's only when we stepped out that more people started streaming in ... consisted mostly of mat rawkers and ang moh teenagers, which made me feel like an ancient relic.

Not a club that I would want to back to. But then again, maybe it only gets really happening later. And the company of friends that I was with that night was just tired out.

ARGH!!! Stupidity Overdose.

It's 7:39 pm on a Friday, and I could just tear my hair out talking to @#$%@$!!! stupid dumb CB fuck faced end-user-who-manages-IT-network but do NOT know a single damn fucking thing about the @#$%@#% fucking network! Urgh! And I had to explain to him how to configure his Outlook just because his administrators has no respect for him and does not even bother with to entertain his stupid requests. How pathetic can one get?

Ok, enough of my rants. Now I feel much better.

Editor's note: The client in question is an Indian foreign talent, with a huge pay packet. His talent? Stupidity, with an overdose of incompetency. Only knows how to talk. How they hire such talent is foreign to me. I am dumbfounded. Perhaps this is what you mean by 'foreign talent'.

Chill out night at Arab Street

Kaki 5

Chilling along the back alley of Arab Street,
Cigarettes and sheesha, we took turns puffing,
Joking, laughing and enjoying the company,
It's life's simplest pleasures that makes life worth living.

It was a refreshingly nice chill out night after a long tiring day at work, with friends, just smoking sheesha, cigarettes, yakking away and having a good laugh. Initially, I had wanted to catch the famed Seaon the Stylist and partner performing salsa at Union Square and probably get some dancing done, but lethargy and the lure of sheesha seduced me to the back alleys of Arab Street.

Cheeky Chop's comment cracked me up when she said that she was "glad that her sister married her brother-in-law', and we talked about marriage, and all those "tekan" sessions that they made the groom do. Amongst them was passing an egg from the left trousers of the groom to the right trousers without using hands. And having a marriage contract that favours the bride. What is his is hers, and what is hers, is hers. Ahh...the things a guy will do to get his girl.

CF choked while puffing on two sheesha simultaneously, when Suf commented that she could "handle two" blows at a go. I am beginning to like this guy's wit. We were taking turns photographing each other puffing out sheesha smoke with the digital camera. Mr. Million Theory man finally managed to exhale a large amount of smoke after taking lessons from CF the sheesha guru, a.k.a. as the chimney. Oh, and did I mention that she looked great in that black and red spaghetti top?

The no. 1 cause of haze in Singapore has been found

I actually got a tad bit high and grabbed the sheesha from Suf when he was not done with it. I am horrified at my reaction. How rude can I be.

Lethargy finally conquered and I left the group early to get some rest. And here I am at 1:19 am, blogging this away. The transformation of a blogging addict begins.

What is missing now to complete the night is a glass of Macallan on the rocks.

I think I am still possesed by a ghost of a poet, albeit a lousy one too.

Mathematical Proof that Girls are Evil.

Got this joke off the Cowboy Bar. This mathematical equation is a classic.

Mathematical proof that Girls are Evil.

Now with all guys that have a girlfriend or wife, we can make a general assumption that for all species of the female sex (F), Time (T) and money($) are required for any major conquest or pacification.

As such we can infer the initial mathematical relation that:
Girls = Time x Money ------- (1)

Next we further exert the natural and common agreement that time is money,
Time = Money ------------------------ (2)

Therefore by combining Equation (1) and (2) we can derive that,
Girls = Time x Money = Money x Money = Money ^ 2

So we get equation 3,
Girls = Money ^ 2 --------- (3)

Further to this, we also know that Money is the root of all Evil, which generalizes evil, and from that we can write the identity:
Money = Evil ^ (1/2) ----------- (4)

Thus taking equation 3 and 4 and combining them, we get
Girls = Money ^ 2 = (Evil ^(1/2))^2 = Evil

Thus, by mathematical proof and the above proposition, we are forced to conclude that mathematically, Girls are Evil.

And yet another poetry.

Sashaying in a white dress,
Dancing in a white top,
Caressed with salsa music,
Spinning like a top,

With sexy graceful movements,
That belies her heavy frame,
An expression of beauty,
She sets my heart aflame.


I think I am possessed by a ghost of a poet. I can't believe I am spouting composing this.

10 things I like about my job.

Just to keep me motivated at work, I think I shall list down 10 things that I like about my job.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. My job helps me fund my vices.

Singapore Pledge for Wedded Couples.

Linked from Mr Brown's blog entry, Julia got an invitation package from Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS), because they were married with no kids.

Excerpts of the letter:

Dear Mr & Mrs XXX
We hope this letter finds you both in good health and marital bliss.
Every marriage faces challenges at one time or another. Equipped with family life skills, couples will be in a better position to face and resolve challenges along the way, build stronger marital ties and enjoy ever-flowing stream of marital bliss.
In this regard, we are most pleased to enclose an exciting menu of family life programmes. These include topics such as family life, balancing work and family, and planning and preparing for the next beautiful milestone of your life, i.e. having babies......You may be pleased to know that couples attending such programmes have advised of their enormous benefits. We are also confident you will also enjoy and gain much from these programmes......
......If we receive your reply by 7 March 2005, you will receive a complimentary gift that will spice up your married life......


I think it is time that we should rewrite the Singapore pledge:

We, the wedded couples of Singapore,
Pledge ourselves as one baby making machine,
Regardless of position, fetishes or sexual preferences,
So as to achieve more tax breaks,incentives,
And better baby counts for our nation.