Selfishness

"Well, thanks for taking care and feeding me this weekend. Come to London, and I will take care of you there, mate," Cousin M said.

"No problem. Y'know, I extend my friendship to you, much as I extend it to everyone else. And some abuse it. Sometimes, it does not pay to be nice. And some even miscontrue my friendliness as romantic interest," I reflected bitterly.

"You're like me then, being friendly to everyone, and accomodating everyone. You know what, you gotta be selfish sometimes. After you please everyone else,from friends, to your family, you will feel unhappy. Because you don't do things for yourself," he replied, before continuing "And that is why I am on this trip. This 3 year holiday trip."

And it suddenly hit me why I have been feeling so restless lately;

That in accomodating others, I have shortchanged myself.
That in fulfilling society's expectations, I have shortchanged myself.
That in fulfilling my promise on his deathbed, I have shortchanged myself; I suppressed my wanderlust.
That in fulfilling my family responsibilities, I have shortchanged myself; I gaveher up.

But now, the responsibilities and promise has been fulfilled. Now, it's time to think of what I really wanna do, which is the hardest part, and making that decision to change.