Rules of Engagement: Hokkien Profanities.
Whilst smoking sheesha along Arab Street, a friend was explaining to me the silent grammatical rules of hokkien swearing:
1. Offensive swearing uses the feminine swear words. For example, if you are pissed at someone, you would probably say (or swear): " Nah Beh".
2. Defensive swearing uses the masculine swear words. For example, if someone stares at you, and you start to feel uncomfortable, you would probably say: " Kua simi lan chiao!".
Scenario:
In a car accident, a typical clash of profanities would be as thus:
Ah Beng (offensive): Kan Ni Na Bu Chao Chee Bye! Why you bang my car for? You blind is it? Cannot see my car in front of you?
Ah Seng (defensive): Lan Chiao! Your car just cut in front of me like that, how to brake?!
Ah Beng (still offensive): You bloody Chee Bye! You better compensate me!
Ah Seng (still defensive): Lum Pah! Compensate you when it is your fault? Lan Tui!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Appendix:
Definition of Hokkien swear words (from The Coxford Dictionary, talkingcock.com)
CHEE BYE
(chee bai)
One of the rudest terms in Singlish. Essentially, "vagina", though not confined to clinical gynecological circumstances. The English equivalent would be "cunt".
KAN NI NA BU/ KAN NI NA BU CHAO CHEE BYE
The rudest phrase of all. Use only if you wish to be beaten up or want other people to think you were raised in a longkang. Literally: "Fuck your mother/Fuck your mother's smelly cunt."
LAN CHEOW
A Hokkien term meaning "penis". Often used in a similar fashion to "like real".Recruit: "Eh, Sergeant, sign my Off Pass leh.." Sergeant: "Lan Cheow! Knock it down twenty!"
LAN TUI
(lahn tooi)
Hokkien phrase literally meaning "penis split". The Hokkien version of "Up yours!" or "Nuts to you!"."You want me to type 100 copies by today? Lan tui, unnerstand!"
LUM PAH
Hokkien for "testicles".
NA BEH/NA BU/NI NA BEH/ NI NA BU
Various contractions of "Ka Ni Na Bu Chao Chee Bye".
1. Offensive swearing uses the feminine swear words. For example, if you are pissed at someone, you would probably say (or swear): " Nah Beh".
2. Defensive swearing uses the masculine swear words. For example, if someone stares at you, and you start to feel uncomfortable, you would probably say: " Kua simi lan chiao!".
Scenario:
In a car accident, a typical clash of profanities would be as thus:
Ah Beng (offensive): Kan Ni Na Bu Chao Chee Bye! Why you bang my car for? You blind is it? Cannot see my car in front of you?
Ah Seng (defensive): Lan Chiao! Your car just cut in front of me like that, how to brake?!
Ah Beng (still offensive): You bloody Chee Bye! You better compensate me!
Ah Seng (still defensive): Lum Pah! Compensate you when it is your fault? Lan Tui!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Appendix:
Definition of Hokkien swear words (from The Coxford Dictionary, talkingcock.com)
CHEE BYE
(chee bai)
One of the rudest terms in Singlish. Essentially, "vagina", though not confined to clinical gynecological circumstances. The English equivalent would be "cunt".
KAN NI NA BU/ KAN NI NA BU CHAO CHEE BYE
The rudest phrase of all. Use only if you wish to be beaten up or want other people to think you were raised in a longkang. Literally: "Fuck your mother/Fuck your mother's smelly cunt."
LAN CHEOW
A Hokkien term meaning "penis". Often used in a similar fashion to "like real".Recruit: "Eh, Sergeant, sign my Off Pass leh.." Sergeant: "Lan Cheow! Knock it down twenty!"
LAN TUI
(lahn tooi)
Hokkien phrase literally meaning "penis split". The Hokkien version of "Up yours!" or "Nuts to you!"."You want me to type 100 copies by today? Lan tui, unnerstand!"
LUM PAH
Hokkien for "testicles".
NA BEH/NA BU/NI NA BEH/ NI NA BU
Various contractions of "Ka Ni Na Bu Chao Chee Bye".
posted by urbanmalebitch at 10:22 PM
6 Comments:
And I didn't know some of these words even existed. Guess I can always visit to.. 'widen my (hokkien) vocabulary'! XD
An analysis of knightofpentacles's
hokkien profanities.
Note the "kong simi lan chiao". The use of "lan chiao" suggests that knightofpentacles is feeling defensive about not fully understanding the article.
Preceeded by the "Nabei", he is offended and hence is trying to be offensive to the author.
Heh.
Thank you =) ... now if only I could apply my analysis to my GMAT essays....
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I laid out a really shortskirt, thigh high stockings, a nice short sweater, and a red pair ofheals. Thegift had to be special, she had come of age and hewanted her to feel special.
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