I'm an IT whore.....

Many people have asked what I do for a living, to which I replied, " I am an IT whore". The term Systems Engineer, is just a fancy title to what I do. Of cuz, it's always interesting to see their reactions, until I explain to them why I consider myself an IT whore:

1. I provide my IT Professional Services to my company's end client, and try to satisfy their IT needs that their own inhouse staff could not handle. And get screwed by their shitty IT systems/staff if I could not perform.
2. Based on my performance, they would either engage my Service or look for another IT whore.
3. I have an hourly rate, or if they like, they could always engage my service for a day. In which case, I come cheaper.
4. Out of this rate (ard the region of $120-$200. Ok, I am a high class IT whore) , I would only get paid 10-15% and my company, da pimp, takes the rest.

Which is why I am an IT whore.

My dream job? A Business Strategy Consultant. The term consult is a combination of two words: con and insult. Therefore, a consultant is someone who cons and insult.

As a consultant, I will get paid to:

1) Go into the client's company, and insult them direct in their face. "This business process is no good...blah blah, you have the wrong strategy.....blah blah". The beauty in this situation: you get paid to insult them, and they will listen to you.

2) After the insult, I can then con them of their money, by recommending solutions to them,
and charge them just for recommending solution.

The beauty of it? The bigger the con and bullshit, the bigger the money. And I am GOOD at bull shitting. Just need to work on the con part.