Eureka!

After a few days of reflection, I finally saw light. The explanation was so simple. It was a simple misunderstanding.

Looking at it from a third perspective, it was so silly. I should have seen it coming.

Girls, are after all, girls.

Despite her tom boyish and loud behaviour, and the fact that I treated her like a drinking buddy, she was after all, a girl.

Despite the fact that she has many buddy guy friends, and I treated her as the chick with a metaphorical dick, and we laughed about it, she was after all, a girl.

Despite the fact that she figured out my liking for another, and joked about starting a match making consultancy, she was after all, a girl.

And a girl would feel uncomfortable even if we arranged to meet up with my group of friends that sometimes do not turn up, and we ended up alone. A guy wouldn't.

And a girl would feel uncomfortable meeting up for lunch often even though it's because her office is just next to mine. A guy wouldn't.

I should have seen it coming, when invited to go to a dive trip with her group of dive friends. I should not have accepted it.

I should have seen it coming, after the dive trip, she refused to meet up for lunch during work days, citing her busy schedule. And being a goofus who takes answers at face value, I believed her.

And now word has gotten round, that I asked her out with some friends, and on several occasions, my friends fly aeroplane , leaving just me and her alone. And that made her uncomfortable. Even though the truth is, most of the time, it's me, her, and her jazz enthusiast sister. And she showed no signs of feeling uncomfortable.

And now word has gotten round, that I promised to introduce her to more friends, on these outings, but have not done so. But the truth is, I wanted to introduce her jazz enthusiast sister to another jazz trumpeter who jams on weekends.

And now it seemed like I'm one big buaya going after two girls concurrently, when in actual fact, I have not even made (or plan to make) any move yet.

And yet, when word got round, and I asked to clarify matters with her, knowing how words could get twisted from person to person, she refused. Asking me to SMS her instead. Even though I could just pop by after work to speak for a few minutes.

This kind of clarification, how do you expect me to SMS?

Nah beh. I'm just gonna let them think what they wanna think. No use explaining.

Time for a few shot whiskeys before going to dreamland.