If only they taught algebra this way in schools

Funny algebra problem.

Cow Economy

Today, when I was clearing e-mails from last year (yes, that is how backdated I am, with work, salsa and capoeira taking centrestage), I came across this e-mail article, which still gives me a good laugh.

TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
an ordinary cow
and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called
'Cowkimon' and
market
them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month,
and
milk themsel ves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they
are.
You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows and none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine
productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers
arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at
RM0.06 per litre.
Then midway through, you raised the price to RM0.60
or you cut the
supply.
When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change
your mind again
and
now want RM1.20.
The buyer decided you can keep the milk.
They go look for milk that comes fro m recycled cows
or the cow urine
instead. Your two cows retire together with the
Prime Minister.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
One cow-peh and one cow-bu

Porno Tube

You have youtube. Sooner or later, there will be a pornographic version of it.
Presenting … pornotube.com. Courtesy of shelled from cowboybar, who posted it in one her threads.

Warning: Do not surf to the url, if you are offended by pornography.

There are a few gems, though, and the video clip of the english training for hookers had my stomach in stitches. Enjoy.

Hilarous NTU lecturer.

Courtesy of Joelle, who posted the link in Cowboy bar.

It's the music delivery, not the music genre.

Friends who knows me, knows that I am a jazz fan, and most of my hang out places are jazz bars like Jazz @ Southbridge, or Harry's at Boat Quay.

Growing up, most of my music exposure was musicals (think Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, etc.), classical and the occassional top 40s. Rock songs do not appeal to me.

And yet, I try to go down to Wala's for my monthly fix of music from the Unexpected, which plays rock.

Today, as I watched Shirlyn and gang perform at Walas, it suddenly struck me why I began to listen to these rock songs.

It's not about the music genre.

It's about the delivery of the music. The powerful vocal chords, the running notes of the electric guitar solo, the crisp and fast staccato drum beats, and the synergy between the band members. That was what that made listening to this band so enjoyable.

Even IT techies makes such mistakes too.

In the middle of a concert on a Saturday night, I received an urgent message from my engineer.

"After the office power shutdown and start up, one server crashed", he SMSed.

"Which server?"

"The database server"

"Which component failed?"

"I am not too sure. The server could not boot up, but if I switched the hard disks to another server, it works. The monitor screen is blank"

"At least the data is still intact. It should be a hardware controller failure. Call DELL and get the hardware replaced. I will be in office at 9am to sort this out".

And so here I was in office, on a Sunday morning at 9am, troubleshooting the server with the DELL engineer. And we discovered that the reason why the monitor screen was blank, was because the cable attached to the monitor was disconnected. All those worrying and the sleepless night, because of a disconnected cable.

I need a beer

Getting high

I've finished my fifth pint of beer, and I'm only starting to get a tad bit woozy. After several months of abstaining from alcohol, I thought my alcohol tolerance level would have fallen.

Damn. I'm destined to be a poor alcoholic.